I Love My Long Distance Relationship

I didn't really know what to expect when my girlfriend and I agreed to make our relationship official whilst living half way across the world from each other. She lived in NYC whilst I was in London and yes, that was scary. But honestly? The idea of not getting to date the person who was making me so incredibly happy was much scarier.

Photographed by: Rebecca Shoptaw

I know that long distance means different things to different people. For some couples, it means that they're from the same hometown and go to university in different parts of the country - maybe they see each other once a month during this time or perhaps they only see each other in the holidays. For me, long distance means I live over 3000 miles away from my girlfriend and as a result our time together is usually very limited.

I believed that being in a long distance relationship was going to be hard but as I agonised over my crush I decided that I was willing to try and make it work. Amelia and I had two friends who were already in a long distance relationship and were able to offer us advice, so we knew that we weren't completely crazy for thinking we could be happy together whilst being so far apart. It's now been over a year and I can truthfully say that we have been so, so happy despite texting and FaceTime having to play such prominent parts in our relationship. I've actually been pleasantly surprised by the natural ease of our relationship so far, because when you care about someone this deeply, you treasure every way in which you're able to have them, even if those ways don't involve them being right next to you.

Before dating Amelia, I'd heard a lot of negativity surrounding long distance relationships, and often I feel like people pity me when I tell them about my situation. "How do you do it?" they ask, with sympathy in their voices. It strikes me as strange that people are so eager to feel sorry for me when I'm not sad or complaining. How do I do it? I don't know how to not do it. I don't know how to not give my absolute all to someone I've fallen for. In this case, that means building a lot of my relationship whilst I'm over 3000 miles away from my partner and I'm okay with that because I'm still the happiest, luckiest person. I mean, of course I am! I get to date my best friend, and in a century where we can communicate with people all over the world, distance doesn't get to change that one bit. I love my relationship just as much as I would if we weren't long distance, because what we have goes way beyond anything physical.

I'm not going to pretend that I don't long for us to be closer most of the time, and of course I do get upset about it. But in the grand scheme of things it's fine - I get to count down the days until we'll be together in person again and until then we've still got each other, there just happens to be a screen between us. But it's still real and we're still just as strong. There's also so much beauty in being able to so easily tackle what most couples view as an obstacle. Our commitment to each other is solidified every single day as we make our relationship work from a distance and my communication has improved massively. Remaining so close whilst being so far apart means that the strength of our connection is never in doubt. And whilst some couples around me completely wrap themselves up in each other, I've held onto a level of independence that I'm grateful for at this age. I know how to be my own person and have my own busy life whilst also building a happy relationship with my girlfriend, and I feel so lucky for that.

It's so special to know you love each other so much that you'll sacrifice being able to have a partner who you can see every day or every week, and when your relationship reaches international long distance, you're also suddenly gifted with more travel than you ever anticipated. Honestly, who knew I would be visiting New York so many times in the space of a couple of years? I love Amelia and I love my relationship - not in spite of long distance, but with long distance included. Of course I look forward to the days when distance isn't a factor, but I treasure the part its played in building what we have, and I truly do feel like I get to live on cloud nine because I have someone who means so much to me. When you're dating your best friend, the happiness they can bring you is endless and the lack of a plane ticket doesn't affect that when you know you've got each other regardless.

So, if you do ever want to feel sorry for me or anybody else in a long distance relationship when we're not inviting sympathy - please don't! I have something wonderful and I smile about it every day, and there really is no need to have sympathy for that.

Until the next post,

Em x


  1. I love the part about sympathy being given when none is needed. so any of us respond to someone else's situation with our own feelings about it instead of paying attention.

  2. Wow! I’m so impressed with this post! I have never heard about a long distance relationship from this perspective and it definitely is eye opening. I’ve never had sympathy for anyone in one, but more so that they spoke negatively about it themselves. So reading this let me know that it’s not that LDRs don’t work, it’s just a matter of fact that it’s not for everyone. Again great read and completely made me see LDR’s in a new light.

    1. Thank you very much Telia for reading and for your lovely comment! I agree, of course some don't work as is the case with all relationships but it definitely depends on the individuals and how they approach it - LDRs can be great they're just not for everyone, as you say! Thank you :)

  3. i really believe in the power of love

  4. This is so beautiful, Em! I loved reading it so much 💓

  5. I love this post. I read another blog lately about how a long distance relationship can make people stronger (https://www.fromroses.co.uk/blog/why-i-loved-having-a-long-distance-relationship). I truly admire you for being able to do it, but having said that- what else would you do?? I feel like if people pitied you, they don't understand what love it. Love is cherishing everything about someone else and the time you spend with them. Love is finding value in the small things, such as a text message. SO it really doesn't matter where you are living or what the situation is. You will make it work if it is meant to be. Good luck to you two! Best, Carly

  6. I have always been a believer that long distance relationships are possible. Two of my internet friends were in a long distance relationship for 5 years without even meeting each other, then finally met each other and are still such a happy couple. I think it's great that you two love each other enough to fight the distance and win and it was really nice reading about a situation or a couple that it's currently working out for :)

  7. I love this, You said it so well! :) I'm In a LDR with my boyfriend for 3 years and 5 months, And i wouldn't change it for the world. When people hear that we never met thei're so... 'will you ever meet? Why do you wait'? And the thing is that the ones who are in a LDR know it best. You wait because he or she is worth every day. There is no 'will we ever meet?' Just a we will meet, no questions asked. Go for it, your Long distance relationship is worth it!

  8. I love this post, and especially your outlook! :] I recently got into an LDR for the first time and while it sucks being far apart, I feel like it does make me appreciate the time that we do get to spend with each other even more.

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