Tuesday's Sky

It was around 6:15pm on a Tuesday. I’d finished my 4-6 workshop and had been walking down Aberystwyth's great hill twice the speed it usually takes me to walk up. My friend waved goodbye and turned left towards her house whilst I walked onwards towards mine, light on my feet because I’d felt so cheerful the last couple of hours. Despite my complaints of boredom and the tendency to zone out, I was always grateful to feel as comfortable as I had done that afternoon. Never thinking before speaking, laughing a lot - surrounded by new friendships, education and that ‘I’m really living in the moment’ sensation. A sensation I didn't even realise I was having until later, because when you're really living in the moment, you don't always notice that you're doing so. That's why you're so happy - you're free from your head for a while.

I stopped at a tiny store I’d never been in and quickly browsed the fridge's lack of options. I didn’t want to walk out without buying anything so I settled on food that wouldn't have made the cut elsewhere. I didn’t mind, and the shopkeeper and I had that kind of genuinely sunny small-talk that makes you believe you're talking to someone nice. I left the store with home in mind.

I always liked Tuesdays, (embarrassingly) for the reason that they were Vodka Tuesdays. I’d broken fresher stereotypes last year and hadn’t really gone out that much but this semester, every Tuesday, I found myself dancing the night away on 60p vodka shots. At 6:20 though, I definitely wasn’t thinking about alcohol. I was looking up at the evening sky, stunned by the pinks and oranges that hung above me. I hadn’t been around enough for the sunsets lately, I thought. I always seemed to be seeing them from the wrong side of my bedroom window. This one was so bright, I couldn’t possibly turn away from it. So instead of going home, I walked up towards Aber’s castle with my plastic bag of microwavable goods swinging by my left side. The sky grew more and more gorgeous with each smiling breath I took.

I stood in what felt like the centre of the sunset, the sky encompassing me with a sight so vivid I thought I was imagining a real life Instagram filter. I reached for my phone so I could capture photos and videos, before seeing a reminder that I’d run out of storage. I tried to settle for Snapchat and Instagram’s cameras but it was slowing the process, and I frustratedly committed to freeing up storage space. I stood there silently, deleting things off my phone, feeling like an idiot for looking at a screen when the sky was a pure circus of delight. I stopped, having freed enough storage to record my 1 second of the day to my satisfaction; I kept on walking, getting closer to the purple sea.

Every second made the sky more beautiful and I decided to stop on the steps of the memorial. There were several people near but no one close enough to be in earshot. It was just me and the view, and at this particular point in time I was glad about it. I allowed my heavy backpack and the shopping to fall beside me as I sat down and stared ahead of me, breathless. A magical Tuesday sky, completely enveloping me. I was happy - to be there, to be alive, to be breathing air that tasted clean and cold but looked as warm as a fireplace. The world was beautiful, and I got to exist in it. This lone moment of appreciation was important, I felt, but I couldn't keep my brain focussed entirely on the sunset for long. Our planet was incredible, but the feelings of affection I was filled with inevitably brought my mind towards a certain pair of arms attached to a wonderful girl, across that sea and way beyond in New York City. Most things lead there, naturally. Every night ends with thoughts of my girlfriend as I'm curled up in bed with iMessage in my hands, or if I'm lucky, she's beside me.

I had been entranced by the sky, however, it couldn't stun my brain to silence - not in the same way that a kiss could. I know that people do a lot of bad things and many of us feel a loss of faith in humanity altogether. I understand it - sometimes I think I believe the sentiment that we're nothing compared to nature's wonder. Then again, I don't think I'm one to choose sights over snuggling, and although this planet may objectively be greater than we are, a soft girl called Amelia is still the greatest to me. My heart didn't have to be stolen to feel this way - I know many people who constantly amaze me with their beauty: their words, their laughs, their kindness. They do more than make me want to stare - they make me want to live alongside them, which makes them far more powerful than the prettiest sunset I could witness.

My awe of the sunset was still so real, and I watched it for a while longer. As the cold started to hit, I picked up my belongings and headed home, with the knowledge that I still had many permanent things in my life that were more wonderful than colourful clouds.

And how lucky am I, to have a lover who is not Tuesday's sky to me, but who is far more magnificent than that.

Love and friendship really do possess loveliness beyond what can be seen on the steps.

Until the next post,

Em x


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